You'll be pleased to hear I'm halfway through Act I of The Scourge. I must have re-written the tease a dozen times before moving on to the first scene of Act I, which I've also re-written a good dozen times. Its a tricky script to write and I've spent a fair amount of time researching the various elements that figure into the story, struggled to convey the information in as concise and entertaining a way as possible, then edited out 75% of what I'd written upon further reflection. Its a labor of love, minus the love at the moment. As I've said before, some scripts are just easier to write. And, as I've also said, when I hit Act II, it'll be smooooth sailing. I hope. Can't wait to hear Michael try his hand at Mandarin.

Have to get around to my next installment in the In the Making series, as well as the next chapter of my production diary in which I discuss the editing process. Hopefully once I pick up the pace on this script, I'll be able to get both done in record time.

Made two batches of ice cream today: Chocolate Chip Rumball, and Butterscotch Butter Crisp. Thanks for forwarding me that article on the Extreme Ice Creams. To tell you the truth, I'd definitely give the Bacon Ice Cream a try. There's an ice cream shop around here that boasts an assortment of very unique flavors including Curry and Durian! Last time I went to visit, I tested a flavor I thought was Roquefort Cheese but may as well have been Vomit.

Watched a Korean movie today. Sort of. My Wife a Gangster 2. The first 5 minutes were great!
Watched a Japanese movie yesterday - Blue Spring - by one of my favorite Japanese directors, Toshiaki Toyoda, who wrote and directed 9 Souls. I'll be the first to admit that his movies may not be for everyone, but there's something about his characters and direction that really resonate with me.

My last blog entry seems to have engendered quite a response on one of the, uh, other forums. Whooowhee. Individuals were posting angry angry tirades about yours truly. Ah, just like old times. Though to be perfectly honest, in this case, I'm actually kind of surprised by the reaction. I wrote: "there is one board whose fans have been consistently negative about the show over the years who have found much to enjoy in season 9, which is nice", which I thought was nice. Then, I make mention of a handful of individuals among those many fans who have chosen to go the sour grapes route by dismissing the popularity of season 9 on their own forum by chalking it up to "mystery writers" who are undoubtedly responsible. Tsk, tsk. Somehow, either because no one bothered to read my actual quote or, as more likely happened, chose to comment on the commentary made by their fellow posters, its been a feeding frenzy over there. Keep your fingers in your pockets and don't make any sudden movements! So, all this to say - If you were offended because you assumed I'd criticized you for being critical or for disliking the shows in past seasons - don't be. Be as critical as you like and continue to enjoy and not enjoy the show as you see fit. If, on the other hand, you're offended because I made fun of your crackpot conspiracy theories involving script elves and invisible writers - then, please, continue to be grievously offended.

Ratings tomorrow (but its a production holiday), then back to work on Tuesday when Ripple Effect resumes shooting and that much-loved, sorely missed character (or two) make their return to SG-1. The Tower starts prep this week, a script that Paul wrote in record time (less than a week). Ethon also goes into production - a copy of which is being printed up for my perusal as I write this.

Well, I'm off to read it and give notes. Then its off to bed as we're off to Bellingham to get the pugs' eyes checked at the doggie eye specialist. G'night.

So there's someone at work who is following this hot new diet plan in which you eat for your bloodtype. He swears it works. I asked him about it and he told me that being an O blood type, he had to lay off sugar and white bread. Lo and behold, he's losing weight. Color be skeptical and may be going out on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure that taking sugar and white bread out of your diet would prove an active weight-loss strategy for anyone regardless of their blood type. But let it not be said I'm not open-minded. I've decided to check out a rival diet plan, the Eat for you Eye Color Diet. No pimentos, capers, or fruit ending in the letter R for me. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well its nice to see Ivon Bartok has started blogging. He's put together some terrific special features for past DVD releases and is in the process of putting together some great features for future releases. His feature on the village we built for season 9 of SG-1 and season 2 of Atlantis is a fun and informative piece on what it takes to complete a project of this magnitude. And the DVD he is working on for The Girls of SciFi is, well, perhaps not as edifying but certainly entertaining as hell.

Some of you asked what I thought of The Half Blood Prince. Well, if someone asked me to order the Harry Potter books in my order of preference it would go something like: Goblet of Fire, Chamber of Secrets, Philospher's Stone, Prisoner of Azkaban, and Order of the Phoenix. Although I haven't read the last book, I'm putting that one after Order of the Phoenix for now. As to why my wife disliked it so much - according to her, the books traditionally rely on heavy exposition in their final chapters, but in the case of Half Blood Prince, almost the entire book was exposition. All of the action either happened in the past (ie. the pensieve) or elsewhere (the burgeoning war with Voldemart's forces). In previous books, elements introduced early in the story end up figuring into the story's denouement. In the case of the last book, magical elements are introduced in the denouement to explain some of the seemingly inexplicable goings-on. Finally, she felt that the book felt like a stage-weight in preparation for the next and final installment.

The milk chocolate fudge brownie with dark chocolate fudge chunks was the overwhelming winner at lunch yesterday.

Working on The Scourge. Still in early Act I. Setting up the players and the off-world mission. SG-1 not particularly happy about it. Have to talk to Rob about Mitchell's background on Tuesday, and talk to Michael about his character's academic background as well, see if we can set something in stone. Was down on set yesterday for Ripple Effect and checking out Mo-Sys. Its going to look great.

Origin and Runner tonight, both written by R.C. Both great episodes but tonight's Atlantis offering is particularly good as we are introduced to our new series regular, Ronon Dex, in memorable fashion. Fan reaction continues to be very positive across the boards. In fact, there is one board whose fans have been consistently negative about the show over the years who have found much to enjoy in season 9, which is nice. Of course, there is also a handful of perenially negative posters who are having a tough time reconciling their sudden enjoyment of the show with the fact that its being written and produced by the same people who were responsible for the past 5 years of SG-1. So what do you do when the people you've been complaining about all these years produce something you can't complain about? Easy. Denial. Refuse to believe that they're responsible. The script elves wrote the first two episodes of season 9!

Well, we're in the stretch-run scriptwise. We have a good sense of how both shows will end their seasons and what our finales will be. The back half of SG-1 sees the return of several old friends (and one not so old friend), the loss of an ally, and a major blow to Earth. The back half of Atlantis sees some surprising revelations about the wraith, the return of a former adversary, and a script, being written by Carl Binder, called "Michael", which focuses on a couple of days in the life of one of the expedition's unknown and unheralded members.

Well, that's all for now. Off to do my workout and feed the dogs. After a two week lay-off, should be getting back to completing the first season of Alias.

Joe

Let's start off with the Ice Cream Report. As I write this latest entry, I am working on two flavors: Chestnut Cream, and Milk Chocolate Fudge with Brownie and Dark Chocolate Fudge Chunks. Its my first time making the latter and I'm a little worried about those fudge chunks - but will let you know how it all turns out. Re: the last batch. Amaretto Amaretti was the surprise hands-down winner.

The Bananas Foster and the Clotted Cream Brandy and Zero Bar Chunks were also popular at last night's movie night. Martin Gero (writer-producer Atlantis, SG-1), Ivon Bartok (writer, director, producer DVD Special Features), and Alex Levine (script coordinator SG-1 and Atlantis) were over for sushi and movies. We watched Overnight - an entertaining documentary about a Boston bouncer who scored a million dollar deal with Miramax for his first script, and then proceeded to alienate everyone associated with the project, include friends and family. I enjoyed the movie but thought it could have benefited from an amusing narration a la Supersize Me. Next, we watched Gunner Palace, another documentary, this one focusing on the war in Iraq. Opinion on this one were mixed.

Speaking of mixed opinions, I finished the Half-Blood Prince last weekend. My wife hated it so much that she vowed never to read another Potter book again. I'm surprised and kind of disappointed because she has been a big fan of the series.

Ratings. Ratings. Ratings. Sweeeeeet! SG-1 stays strong and Atlantis, thought dipping slightly, continues to deliver solid numbers. As I said in my previous blog, a 2.0-ish average would make us all VEEERY happy and both shows look to continue their success of previous years. But, admittedly, SG-1 was the big news. Slight drop off is to be expected after a premiere and the fact that SG-1 stayed the course bodes well. Also, I don't know how much impact this may have had (and I'm willing to accept that, maybe, the effect was negligible), but I was informed that we were up against the Speilberg mini-series, running from 8:00 - 10:00 pm. the past couple of weeks. Well, we'll find out what effect, if any, it had on the shows because its aired its finale last Friday.

Just saw the new Atlantis opening (that's the one minute version). It kicks a**! Gone are the lame/cliche fade up/fade down/fade up/fade down sequences that you see in sooooooo many trailers today. Needless to say, it is a thousand times better than the 10 second opening.

Speaking of openings, I caught the fan spoof of the Stargate opening credits. Loved it. Ahem.

We started production on Ripple Effect on Monday. After seeing the first day of dailies, I had to give Peter DeLuise a call to tell him how much I loved what I'd seen. Especially Kvasir. He's a hoot.

The Scourge update. Completed the Teaser and an in scene one of Act I. The first act is always the toughest. After that, its smoooooooth sailing.

Oh, and Martin Wood came back from Colorado with some brand new footage of Cheyenne Mountain. Since season 5, we've been wanting to get new footage but were always told "Don't bother. Its Stargate's last season". Well, I'm pleased to say that people are thinking a little more positively now and that we'll be seeing post-1980 automobiles driving in and out of Cheyenne Mountain before long.

Also pleased to see that one of you took my suggestion and checked out Yuji's last time you were in town. Pleased to hear you enjoyed yourself.

Well, the second episodes of both shows aired on Friday and, sometime Monday, we'll receive the all-important ratings for Avalon II and Intruder. Now, much has been made of last week's ratings - some chose to give the 2.0 and 2.1 a positive spin while others chose to spin it in a more negative light. As fans of the show, you're probably wondering: Should these be considered good numbers? Should they be considered bad numbers? Is Stargate SG-1 done?

Should these be considered good numbers? Actually, they should be considered great numbers. When we first moved to SciFi, we were gunning for a 1.7 average. We surpassed our expectations. And when season 7 started airing, we never imagined the show would crack the daunting 2.0 mark. It did and, come season 8, it was doing so regularly. As we head into season 9, it looks like that trend will continue.

That said, I'll admit to being somewhat disappointed with those numbers. After all, it would have been nice to beat last year's SG-1 premiere. But let's be realistic. While it would be great to continually outperform ourselves and continue to climb the ratings ladder, the facts is we're in our 9th season. Its almost unheard of for a show to actually gain viewers as consistently as SG-1 has done over the years.

This show has continued to buck the odds and succeed, much to the chagrin of many. We've never had the benefit of a big marketing machine exhorting viewers to checks us out. We built our audience from word of mouth, from our loyal legion of fans who set aside an hour or two every Friday night to tune us in. We've never been the darling of the critics. In fact, quite the opposite. Time and again we've been unfavorably compared to other shows - and yet, time and again, I find myself walking into my office in January to prepare for yet another season. We're all but ignored by the Canadian television industry who consider us "not Canadian enough" and thus, not worthy of their time - this despite the fact that the show's writers, producers, directors, crew, and most of the actors are Canadian. So while those other Canadian shows win awards, we have to settle for yet another successful season of two million+ viewers an episode.

So, is Stargate SG-1 done? Not by a longshot.

Oh, and to those of you wondering - the kick-off to Ice Cream Friday was a success. On tap: Caramel Caramilk, Nutella-Brownie-Ferre Rocher, and, the surprise winner, Dark Chocolate Coffee Coffee Crisp. I'm already preparing for this week and am considering Amaretto Amaretti, Devon Cream and Zero Bar Chunks, and Chestnut Cream. I also made the Bananas Foster, but my wife lay claim to it and it didn't leave the house.

Almost finished the Half-Blood Prince (my wife is in the next room, reading it as I write this). Not my favorite of the series. Still working my way through season 1 of Babylon 5 and Sports Night.

Finally - I always make it a point to check out what the fans have to say, especially after the shows air on Friday night. Among the many posts about the two episodes was one fan's head up, informing me that my name had been misspelled in the Atlantis credits. Sigh. I guess I have to go in tomorrow and let the gang at post know that I HAVE NOT, in fact, changed the spelling of my last name between episodes 1 and 2 of Atlantis.

Peter DeLuise certainly has his hands full as he preps not one, but two episodes this week: Ripple Effect and Stronghold. On the bright side (for me), given that I'm only producing one of the two episodes, I only had to sit in on half the meetings. Still, the two hour Extras Meeting had to be a record. The stunts meeting, on the other hand, lasted a grand total of thirty seconds - so there's another record right there. To top off the day, we finished with the Visual Effects and Playback meeting. Whooweee. Try explaining the science behind this episode in a nice, neat, concise manner. And I thought time-travel episodes were confusing. Suffice it say, however, we're working with some brilliant people and I have the utmost confidence in Krista, our Playback Supervisor, to come up with some kick-ass graphics that will effectively explain it all - or die trying. The Visual Effects portion of the meeting took about another two hours, but Peter and Michelle Comens (our VFX Producer on SG-1) came up with some very cool shots and sequences for the various scenes. This episode is going to be a lot of fun. Halfway through the meeting, an "old friend" dropped in for his costume fitting for The 4th Horseman. It was great to see him again.

Turns out Paul only has approximately 10 days to write The Tower. Damian put out his revision of Ethon while Carl has started work on a first draft of Michael. Robert did a pass on Stronghold and offered some excellent notes on The Scourge (no one has objected to the title yet so it looks like it may stick) and I've started work on the first draft. This is what I've got so far:

TEASER

FADE IN:

INT. CORRIDOR - SGC - DAY

So, what do you think? Honestly.

Watched the first part of the Quentin Tarantino Alias two-parter last night. I really like the Sloan character. He reminds me of me. Also finished episode 13 of Babylon 5's first season. G'kar is my fave on that series. This morning, I watched episode 9 of The Shield's fourth season. I'll say it again. The best show on t.v.

Speaking of the best - I made the best ice cream the other day.: Nutella Ferre Rocher. The secret is to mix the Nutella in WHILE the ice cream is mixing and not before because you want to maintain that pure, silky vanilla base that marries so well with the semi-chewy chocolate-hazelnut. I took delivery of my ice cream freezer yesterday and am now in search of a better ice cream machine/maker.

I'm about a third of the way through The Half-Blood Prince. I'd be further along, but my wife keeps on snatching the book to read it herself. So far so good, but its going to have to go a long way to top my favorite in the series: The Goblet of Fire.

We watched mixes of both Condemned and Beachhead the other day. Both are great episodes and definite highlights in the first half of both shows. Condemned was once known as "the clone story" because, well, it involved clones. Then, we lost the clone angle and it became "the not clone story". And, eventually, it became "Condemned". I, however, still refer to it as "the clone/not clone story". As for Beachhead - Maury Chaykin really tears it up as the goa'uld Nerus.

Well, I just sent off my preliminary outline for The Scourge (formerly The Blight which I changed because, technically, it isn't a blight - but don't get too attached to this title either). Last time Robert Picardo was in town (for Prototype) he was telling Martin how much he'd love to get in on the action for a change. Well, he'll get his wish in this episode and may regret it once he sees what's in store for Woolsey. Hope he's not squeamish. Many thanks to Martin Gero and Damian Kindler for the great notes on the preliminary preliminary outline.

I just finished a terrific 12-episode anime series called Paranoia Agent. The animation is amazing and the story is a real mind-trip. I can't recommend this one enough. I've followed up with a three-part mini-series tittled, appropriately enough, Interlude. Watched the first episode last night and thought it was...meh. However, the reviews I've read say it becomes very complex, offering a variety of twists and turns as it progresses - so I'm looking forward to checking out the next installment tonight. I picked this particular series because the reviews intrigued me and because it is fairly short. With the new Harry Potter book coming out this weekend, my evenings will be otherwise occupied next week.

Some of you ask - how do you find the time to watch so much? Well, I wake up at 6:00 a.m. every morning and do an hour of cardio. While I hit the elliptical, I'll watch an hour of television (which roughly breaks down to a one hour show at roughly 43 minutes and a half hour show at roughly 21 minutes). As many of you know, I'm working my way through the first season of Babylon 5. Its tough to judge a scifi series especially by its first few episodes since so much of those early stories are set-up - however, the last two episodes I watched - Deathwalker, and Believers - were homeruns. Loving the political intrigue. After completing the second season of South Park, I tried an episode of Titus, then switched over to Dilbert. I loved the books and the show's scripts are funny and clever, but the voices just seem...well, different than I imagined them in my head. About a third of the way through Alias season one. On the movie front, had Alex and Ivon over for movie night where Ivon screened the Girls of Scifi video shoot. It looks great. Ivon is responsible for most of the cool, behind-the-scenes features on the DVD's and did a terrific job with The Girls of Scifi, working long hours to film it, then edit together a terrific-looking 30 second sneak peek. I look forward to checking out the finished 45 minute version once he's done. Anyway, we watched The Green Butchers, a Daniosh film that felt like it really skirted the line between drama and dark comedy without really committing one way or the other. Nevertheless, it had its moments.

Nothing new on the ice cream front as I work my way through the last batches. However, I did pick up ingredients for a Caramilk Caramel ice cream and a Coffee Coffee-Crisp batch.

Off to read Carl's revision of Critical Mass. When the truth is revealed...what a surprise! Or not, depending on how much of the script gets leaked.

I see that Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are coming out with a new movie. All I can say is "Finally!" Its been over two months since the last one.

We're 7 episodes into the first season of Alias. I feel as though I should be taking careful notes. I'm enjoying it, although my wife finds the Sydney Bristow character maddeningly naive for a purported secret agent and is about ready to thow in the towel. I'm 8 episodes into the first season of Babylon 5 and am looking forward to seeing how the political intrigue between the various alliance races develops. Finished up the second season of South Park (my cellphone ringtone is Cartman singing a song from one of the Christmas episodes) and am considering my next half hour series. Judging from some of your comments, I should be getting back to Sports Night. Also, with regard to your recommendations, I will be checking out House once its released on DVD (I'm a big Hugh Laurie fan who I actually recognized from MI-5/Spooks. Speaking of which, when does season 3 of this series come out?). Also, some of you have mentioned The Wire more than once. I checked out season 1 a month ago and thought it was good. Season 2 is still waiting to be watched. On the anime front, I finally got through Chobits and have moved on to a terrific series, Paranoia Agent. Check it out.

What the hell does this have to do with Stargate? When is he going to start talking about the show?! Okay, okay. Certain scheduling changes have necessitated our making changes to The 4th Horseman I and II. But change is good, especially in this case since it means (I know it sounds like I'm repeating myself) the return of a much-loved, sorely missed character. I think this season will be known as the season of returning much-loved, sorely missed characters. Anyways, it'll be great to have "this individual", my fellow gourmand, back in town.

And speaking of eating... Still working my way through the last bunch of ice creams. I've found that the key is in the base - organic whole milk, cream, eggs, and vanilla pods. Once my ice cream containers free up, I'll give Smores a try. It'll essentially be a variation of Burnt Sugar Pie (marshmallow fluff and crushed graham crackers) with the addition of milk chocolate truffles. As always, I'll keep you posted.

Five days and counting. Avalon I will get the ball rolling for SG-1, introducing new cast members and a new dynamic as the show heads into its 9th season. After the premiere, I'll be following up with an In the Making: Avalon I piece for Gateworld (and hopefully will be able to continue the trend through the rest of the season). Siege III kicks things off on the Atlantis side with one of the biggest episodes we've done. There's this one incredible scene where...ah, I can't say too much without giving it away.

Outlines for the Tower, Michael and Return of the Genii (Martin has got to come up with a title) are coming along nicely, as is Damian's story. I have a rough outline of The Blight but am still trying to work out some aspects of the story - chiefly, still, the Chinese ambassador's arc, and, of course, those pesky %&#'s!

Had some friends over the other night for homemade ice cream. I made 8 different batches and was surprised that the overall favorite was really a true experiment: Butter Pecan with Butter Pecan Popcorn Clusters. The Vanilla with Dark Chocolate Bottled filled with Advokaat Liqueuer was, surprisingly, my favorite. The Dark Chocolate Rumball was a close second, and only because I think I'd forego the actual rumball pieces next time. Everyone loved the Pumpkin Pie. My wife loved the Green Tea and while my buddy Steve declared the Vanilla-Caramel with O'Henry clusters his favorite, I thought the clusters were too hard and chewy for my liking. The Pistachio with Milk Chocolate Pieces was a disappointment (I'll have to strain the pistachio cream next time) as was the Moka-Dark Chocolate Oatmeal (I think milk chocolate would have been the way to go, with milk chocolate chunks). I purchased one of those stand-up freezers especially for my ice cream. I'm considering making Friday "Ice Cream Day" and bringing experimental batches into the office for the gang to test. Flavors on tap include Smores, Chestnut Cream, a new and improved Marzipan with Dark Chocolate Bits, and Bananas Foster.

Well, finished the first season of Nip/Tuck on DVD. It was a show I found alternately infuriating and fascinating - but I'm hooked. Season 2 comes out on DVD August 30th. In the meantime, my wife wants to start another drama and we're thinking of checking out Alias. Also, on my own, am halfway through the second season of South Park. On Damian's recommendation, I checked out Sports Night, watched the first couple of episodes, then switched over to the first season of Babylon 5. On the movie front, I watched a fantastic Japanese movie yesterday (matinee!) called "9 Souls", about 9 convicts who escape from prison and their attempts to find freedom (both literally and figuratively) on the outside. It was funny, sentimental, and ultimately heartbreaking in the case of some of our escapees. Definitely worth checking out. I intend to check out director Toshiyaki Toyoda's other films.

In television, science fiction in particular, you deal with archetypes - good guys versus bad guys, white and black, good and evil. In reality, of course, things are infinitely more complex. Human behavior is colored by a variety of emotions, histories and motivations. In the real world, there are no simple heroes and villains. Or so you would assume until an act as cowardly and as contemptible as this is committed.

Like the rest of the civilized world, I was shocked and saddened by the events of July 7th. My thoughts are with our friends in England

- to all of our American fans and those celebrating with them.

Well, it seems that I'm able to work on pretty much every Stargatge outline being written except my own. Before leaving for hiatus, I was able to come up with an idea for Carl's "Michael" story (formerly the "Charlie" story). If Carl's past scripts are any indication, this one is going to be fantastic. I was also able to make some suggestions for Damian's "Long Goodbye" outline. This one will be a lot of fun and will offer Tori the rare opportunity to kick some major butt. I'm loving Martin's "Return of the Genii" story. I don't know if the C story I suggested is going to fly, but it would be fun to get inside Radek's head and explore a bit of his past. Just sent off suggestions for Paul's "The Tower" story. This one is going to be another good one plenty of twists and turns in the A, B, and C runners. Weir faces a major dilemma in her dealings with an interesting new ally. As for the "Off-World Ambassadors" story - well, I seem to be stuck in second gear. Once Martin and Paul's outlines are solid, I'll send them what I have so far and see if we can hammer something out. This story (which I've tentatively renamed "The Blight"), is far removed from the last one I wrote, "Ripple Effect", which was a blast to work on. Hopefully once it all comes together and its time for me to sit down and write it, I'll be equally inspired. I think the linchpin is the Chinese ambassador and once I can establish her arc and relationship with Daniel, the rest should fall into place.

I love t.v. on DVD. There is nothing like sitting down and watching an entire season, episode after episode, uninterrupted. Well, almost uninterrupted as I wait to conclude season 4 of The Shield. Okay, so its a far cry from Stargate but I recommend you guys go out and pick up season one on DVD. I watch some good shows (Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Deadwood) but The Shield is, in my humble opinion, the best-written show out there. Shawn Ryan and co. do a terrific job. I'm also watching the first season of Nip/Tuck with my wife. She loves it. Me...not so much. Am I the only one who finds all of the main characters incredibly unlikable? Well, if you do plan on checking out, I'd suggest you not do so over dinner. Some of the surgery scenes can be a little...appetite-suppressing.

On the anime front, I was watching Samurai 7 - only to realize I had only picked up 4 out of the 6 volumes. Great-looking show. I'm hooked. Now, if I can only ge the last two episodes. In the meantime, I've switched over to Chobits which is a fine series although I've yet to really see what all the fuss is about. Once I'm done, and provided I can't get my hands on volumes 5 and 6 of Samurai 7, Wolf's Rain and Paranoia Agent await on deck. By the way, I do check out your blog comments so if you anime-fans have any suggestions...

Planning to make a fresh batch of ice cream for Wednesday night. I was going to make praline with dark choclate and praline chunks but my wife ate the dark chocolat and praline chunks. In the future, I think I may have to hide my ingredients. I'm also toying with the idea of making a dark chocolate oatmeal ice cream. For those of you who like oatmeal, I recommend making a batch of steelcut Irish oatmeal. Its a thousand times better than that boxed instant oatmeal. Right. The first season of The Shield on DVD and a tin of steel-cut Irish oatmeal. Get back to me.

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