Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. After three + weeks of non-stop writing, I've taken a break to entertain, read, and catch up on a couple of movies I've been meaning to check out. On the movie front, nothing but disappointments as I try to find a good comedy. To be perfectly honest, I can't remember the last time I watched a good, funny movie. Oh, yeah, now I remember. I think it was this last summer when I re-watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles for perhaps the twenty-fifth time. I wondered if, maybe, I'm just too hard to please (because the guys at work have really enjoyed some recent movies that I just found, at best, fitfully amusing), but then I do enjoy a lot of comedy on t.v.: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld re-runs, The Office [the original, natch], occasional episodes of The Simpsons and Family Guy. Its not like I'm necessarily looking for high-brow, intellectual fare, but when, for instance, a movie has to create a scenario whereby: Character A chooses to relieve himself off a balcony without, for reasons that are known only to him and the scriptwriter, bothering to check what's below, while Character B, who happens to be sitting below, through a series of contrivances, doesn't seem to realize what is happening... Well, you get the idea.

Good Christmas haul, especially for the dogs who managed to tear apart two of the twelve toys they received. For my part, I got some terrific cookbooks, running shoes that were a full size too small, "gourmet" chocolates my sister purchased in Montreal which included such interesting flavors as Blue Cheese, Basil, and Madras Curry (!) - and, no doubt, the best gift I received: the 2005 version of PC for PC's, a software program that can transform any script into a politically correct, thoroughly uncontroversial masterpiece. It says right on the box: "Guaranteed to re-format scripts to pat, inoffensive standards". I couldn't resist and ran my first draft of Morpheus through the program. The script came in at over 120+ pages because, it turned out, I had the "Nothing Left to the Imagination" option turned on. This option ensures that even a Bornean exchange student with no understanding of the English language will know exactly which character is where, doing what and, most importantly, why. The solution to the problem our characters face is immediately presented to the audience within the first five minutes in order to avoid the unpleasantness of mystery and having to wait forty-some minutes for the answer to ponderously reveal itself. Another reason for the high page count is that the team is never separated! Instead of having Daniel at the ruins deciphering Ancient script while Carter is in the lab working on a piece of tech as Landry is in his office talking to the Pentagon, the entire team gets to participate in all facets of discovery - watching while Daniel deciphers, looking on as Carter experiments, and squeezing into Landry's office for that call with the Pentagon. "But hang on!"you're probably saying. "This sounds like a pretty heavy Daniel-Carter-Landry episode. It sounds like Mitchell, Vala, and Teal'c will be doing nothing but standing around!" Well, here's good news. PC for PC's actually revises the dialogue, ensuring that each character has an equal amount of screentime. The beauty of the program is that, rather than counting lines or words, it actually provides a syllable count, ensuring that every character enunciates an equal amount of syllables in every episode. Certain words are automatically replaced to assure equality - for instance, Carter's: "I'm shocked!" might be revised to "I'm flabbergasted!", providing those three extra syllables necessary for uniformity. Also, kiss those "Who should be team leader?" debates goodbye because, thanks to PC for PC's, everyone gets to be team leader! Mitchell, Carter, Daniel, Teal'c, Vala - even fan favorite Walter Harriman gets to flex his command muscles. And, perhaps the best part of the program is that it removes any potential unpleasantness that might be deemed disrespectful to one of our main characters. No more: "Oh, Carter is in trouble. The writers are doing damsel in distress!" or "Oh, Daniel is captured. The writers are making him look vulnerable." Rather than traveling off-world and encountering problems that could present a danger to them, now, the team will travel off-world and "think" they've encoutered a problem that could present a danger to them - only, it turns out, that what they've encountered is neither dangerous nor problematic, but gloriously unexceptional. After the requisite 12 page tag scene in which our characters offer a detailed summary of the events we've just seen unfold, we go out on the closing credits which will be comprised of one enourmous card holding the names of everyone involved in the production, from show runner to on-set boot-scuffer. As the closing theme plays, the names will automatically change positions every quarter second in a thoroughly random pattern, again ensuring equality for all.

Spoke to Paul and he's busy working on episode 2 of Atlantis, the one where Beckett finds himself "trapped in the asylum when the inmates take over". He says he's having a great time for "that Star Trek alumni" who will be making a first appearance on Atlantis. Also on the Atlantis front, Rob is working on the sequel to the Atlantis episode he wrote while Brad has been working on the third episode of SG-1 as well as that wild (some will no doubt say "crazy") idea for the 200th episode, getting on it early as it will take some time to prepare for. Martin's got the McKay's sister story and Carl's working on the big two-parter that sees the introduction of the new big bads.

Made three flavors of ice cream for the holidays: Egg Nog, Vanilla-Almond, and Milk Chocolate with Shaved White Chocolate Toblerone. All successses, but the gang at work will have to wait until this Summer for Ice Cream Fridays to start up again.

Well, looks like the sun is coming out which means I can finally take those dogs for a walk. Keep those recipes coming!

As promised, I'm checking in now that I've completed my third script (and none too soon as Martin Gero had threatened to break my hands unless I stopped). I have three first drafts that I'm going to sit on for a couple of days, allow my mind to recharge, then finally re-read and polish. When we return to the office in January, I'll give Paul the option of doing a pass, or just putting out to the writing department and getting the notes on these versions. Looking over the three scripts, I think they're all a lot of fun and, as is often the case with Stargate, very different in terms of tone and focus.

Two of the things that stand out about Morpheus for me are: 1) the great Carter/Daniel sequence late in the episode and, 2) Teal'c getting the opportunity to step up in a non-Jaffa story. As I mentioned in a previous post (somewhere), this is the episode where we're faced with the prospect of Vala's continued involvement in the Stargate Program and must ask ourselves some hard questions. By "we", of course, I'm referring to the SGC. Surprisingly, I find the need to clarify this for certain fans who are mistakenly (?) offering another interpretation. Anyhow, this is the episode where those in charge of the SGC (and by that, I mean the fictitious characters of the SG-1 universe [and by universe, I don't mean universe in the literal sense but in the figurative sense of the Stargate world we've created {and by "world" I mean the various elements that make up the shows Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis; "we", in this case, referring to the writer-producers of the shows}]) weigh in on Vala's worth, character, and past actions. Who knows what the future holds?

As I was writing Counter-Strike, I realized that it was a surprisingly sober outing for one particular character and wondered whether it was a little too "down". I honestly can't see how it can't be given the circumstances. Still, we finally get to see the inside of an Ori ship and the story affords a bonding opportunity between two characters with a rocky past.

Finally, Memento Mori. I'm still smiling at the Vala-Mitchell scenes, anticipating the fan reaction to the "dinner date" debate, and am curious as to whether Ben know how to ride a motorcycle.

All the shows are on hiatus. Continuing Beck, South Park season 6, Homicide season 3. Heard good things about School of Rock from people at work so checked it out last night. Meh. I should've watched Serenity (which I picked up yesterday), but my wife made the call.

Well, looks like I'm off to get my haircut so I can look presentable for the in-laws on Friday. Happy Holidays, all the best for the coming New Year and, dare I say it, Merry Christmas to all.

Joe

Well, looks like my time-hopping has been temporarily curtailed by a fan who borrowed my puddle jumper. She promised to get it back for ten minutes before I lent it to her but, alas, I'm still waiting. And so, stuck in the here and now, I decided to kill time by actually starting work on seasons 10 and 3.

I wrote up the four outlines over two days (Atlantis episode #2, Morpheus, Counter-Strike, and Memento Mori), then started work on Morpheus which will be SG-1's second episode. It was a lot of fun but required a heady amount of research: Arthurian lore, Gwalchmei, the different stages of sleep, how the brain functions during sleep, and, of course, psychiatric evaluations. With Vala on board for all of season 10, we have to ask ourselves: Why would she want to join Stargate Command? Why would we want her to join Stargate Command? And, of course, do we feel that we can trust her? All of these questions come up in this episode and are answered, temporarily at least.

The plan was to finish one script and write the second one in January when we got back to the office, choosing one and letting Paul write the Atlantis and the third SG-1. Well, that was the plan but after a couple of days of R&R, I started to feel guilty, so I started the second script, Counter-Strike, which I believe has been slotted for the 7 spot. Lots of good emotion in this one, bonding, and a significant loss at episode's end. I'm kind of concerned about the visual effects budget on this one and will look to trim a little in my next pass. Finally -

Going back with two scripts would be huge. Going back would be mind-blowing. So, I've started work on Memento Mori, which I believe is slotted for the 8 spot. I'm only into the first act and, ideally, would love to get it done before the family comes to visit on the 23rd. This one will also be a lot of fun and have already done a little research on memories, a certain war goddess from Cronos's neck of the woods, and Caribbean deli menu's.

Sadly, I never did get to go to San Francisco. Our dog-sitter took a full-time job working at a veterinary clinic and I'm too paranoid to leave my dogs with anyone else. On the bright side, I have accomplished oodles of work, reading, and t.v./dvd/movie-watching.

Got all 24 volumes of the Goscinny-written Asterix and Obelix series and am not so sure about the remaining Underzo editions. Many fans hated the post-Goscinny stuff. Also picked up some terrific hard science fiction anthologies and read two stand-out short stories, one by Kim Stanley Robinson, the other by Stephen Baxter. On the anime front, I watched the latest installment in the Lupin 3rd series (whatever happened to the rumored Jim Carrey live action movie?), and ahve moved on to a little import I'm really enjoying, Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad. Halfway through season 3 of Homicide and season 6 of South Park (I intended to start season 3 but put season 6 instead and, so far, its been my favorite season to date. Hilarious). Was extremely pleased with the conclusions to both Survivor: Guatemala and The Amazing Race. Also watched an incredibly disturbing horror anthology from Asia called Three: Extremes.

I was particularly looking forward to Three: Extremes because a) I'm a fan of horror movies, b) I'm a fan of Asian horror movies in particular, and c) I loved the prospect of seeing three mini-movies directed by three of Asia's most inventive directors: Japan's Takashi Miike, Hong Kong's Fruit Chan, and Korea's Chanwook Park. My friend Marcus lent me the movie, informing me that he and his girlfriend were so disturbed by the second story that they were unable to finish it. Intrigued, I checked it out. Now I know a lot of people loved Three: Extremes but as much as I loved elements in all three stories, I can't say I loved them. The first and third entries felt more like experimental films and, while I enjoy movies that "think outside the box", they must maintain a grounded narrative if I'm to buy into the world created. The first story, Takashi Miike's box tells the story of a woman, a novelist, who is haunted by the recurring dream that she is being buried alive. We learn that, when she was a young girl, she was part of a circus act along with her sister and father. Part of the act required the two girls to fold themselves into separate boxes which would be closed and latched shut...Bet you know where this is going. Well, think again. Halfway through this twisted tale, I wondered whether Marcus had meant to say he wasn't able to make it through this one instead. Lots of nice directorial touches but, in the end, I felt the story was marred by a, frankly, silly conclusion. Incidentally, Takashi Miike's Fudoh: The New Generation is one of my favorite Japanese movie and a film that made James Tichenor vow to never attend one of my home screenings again. Of course, if I had screened the second movie, Fruit Chan's Dumpling for James, he probably still wouldn't be talking to me. Of the three, this one is the most straightforward and traditional in its narrative although it doesn't really go anywhere in the end. Still, this one gets the prize for the most shocking and disturbing premise of any horror movie I've ever watched. The last entry, Cut, is by Chanwook Park, director of my favorite Korean movie, Oldboy. This one has a great premise: a hotshot director and his wife are held hostage by an extra who appeared in every one of his movies. Again, great premise but once they break through the 4th wall, it feels like an exercise in fimmaking. Inventive but ultimately unsatisfying for this viewer.

Thought I'd try something new in this entry and actually respond to some of the comments to my last blog -

"Can you comment on the video game Stargate SG-1 : The Alliance?"

Sorry, I can't. I've never played the game and really don't know anything about it.

"You need to try Tim Tams though. Not the caramel, double choc etc varieties. The original!!!"

I have. They are one tasty cookie. Watch for Tim Tam ice cream in a future entry.

"Joe, why do you write this blog? Is it part of your job? Do you write it because you love to entertain the fans (or maybe yourself)? Is it something you really want to do?"

I write this blog because I enjoy it. It is definitely not part of my job. In fact, I was the one who approached Darren about writing a blog for Gateworld in the first place.

"oh, and for the anime that you missed on the top 20 - Paranoia Agent, Gungrave, Samurai shamploo, Gits 2the movie"

Liked Paranoia Agent a lot but it didn't make my top 20. Also liked GITS 2 a lot, but I was only listing series as opposed to movies (otherwise Grave of the Fireflies would have been up there). I'm waiting for the final volume of Champloo to come out before I start. After Geck, Gungrave is up on deck.

"Yes, well, as Joe and the other producers have obviously determined, most fans are not happy with Cameron leading."

I think we have differing opinions on how to define "most fans".

"The conduct on Joe's blog has devolved right along with Joe's own personal internet conduct. As he treats fans from all quarters with a growing amount of contempt and disrespect the people who post these comments do the same to both Joe and the others who comment here. Reap what is sown..."

I thank Cardinal Vanderplaankt for coming by and offering me the theology lesson although I don't really know what he's referring to by "Joe's own personal internet conduct". I try to treat all fans in a respectful manner. Even the dolt who posted the aforementioned comment.

"Are we even going to see any Unas? Do the Ori want other races (like the Unas) to worship them aswell? Would the Unas even understand Ascension? Can they ascend?"

Not in the near future. Sure. Probably not. Very unlikely.


Well, that's it for now. I'll try to check in after I finish the third script.

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