Author Notes: Set between Seasons 8 & 9

Dear Daniel

It was sweet of you to ask me to reconsider leaving the SGC. However, the time has come to leave, for a number of reasons.

First, everyone is moving on to new things. You have plans to travel on the Daedalus to Atlantis; Teal'c is spending more time on Dakara, General O'Neill has been promoted away from the SGC ... and Janet is no longer with us.

Cassandra needs me, Daniel: she has already lost two mothers and I can't abandon her now. I need to be around when she calls.

But maybe the most important reason is that I cannot forget that it was my mistakes that allowed my duplicate to wreak havoc in the galaxy. The General and Teal'c may have told me (repeatedly!) that it was not my fault, but in my heart I know it was. I prevented Teal'c from destroying her when he had the opportunity - and look at the consequences.

Besides the uncounted number of Jaffa who lost their lives, who even now might be part of Teal'c's Free Jaffa Nation, my actions led directly to your kidnapping. Although you won't talk about it, I have some idea of what you went through: all I have to do is remember what Fifth did to me.

She played me like a violin, Daniel: I thought I knew her because she shared my memories, but in reality she is nothing like me: or rather, I hope she is nothing like me. She told me I had the potential to be like her - in the dark of the night, sometimes I fear that may be so.

However, the biggest price I have had to pay is the loss of my father. He told me he asked Selmak to hang on so that his knowledge and experience could be used to help defeat the replicators: without that particular threat, Selmak might have left him soon enough to save his life - and Mark and I might still have our father with us.

So I hope you understand why I have to go. Until I can trust my own judgment again, I have to bury myself in research, where my decisions are less likely to cause the deaths of others.

Enjoy yourself in Atlantis

with love Sam

<< BACK