Author Notes: It'll have you laughing your head off! I hope.

Goa'uld Play!

Seth was demanding a prayer of worship from his followers; Kull warrior 1, 2 and 390.

Kull warrior 1: Seth is happiness Seth is life Seth is all mighty

Kull warrior 2: Seth is happiness Seth is life Seth is all mighty

Kull warrior 390: Seth is happiness Seth is life Seth is all mighty

Seth: Again!

Kull warrior 1, 2, 390: repeat

Kull warrior 390: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Seth: Who dares defy me?

Kull warrior 390: SNORE!

Kull warrior 390: Mummy!

Kull warrior 2: Do we have a mummy?

Kull warrior 1: Nah

Seth: silence! I am the god! I'm the best!

Kull warrior 1: He should really notice that Baal is about to stab him

Kull warrior 390: Should we warn him?

Kull warrior 2: Nah, this corny prayer is getting boring



Baal: You are now my Kull warriors, therefore you do not have to recite that corny prayer again

Kull warrior 390: So what do we say?

Baal: Hmmmmmm. How about hail Baal?

Kull warrior 1, 2, 390: Hail Baal!

Deep within a fiery mountain, the twins Sloth and Thoth are celebrating their birthday

Thoth: No, no, no, you are too kind, after you

Sloth: No, after you

Anubis: Sloth, Thoth. Yum! Cake!

Sloth: After you

Thoth: You are too polite, do have a larger piece

Anubis: I was thinking about it

Anubis: BURP! Where was I? Ah, I want you to assassinate Rhea and Kronos for me, that is all

Thoth: After you

Sloth: No, no, no, after you

Rhea and Kronos celebrate their 5,127th anniversary under a moonlit dinner

Rhea: Fresh breeze

Kronos: Would you like some symobiot sauce with that unas head, my love?

Rhea: Yes please.....eeeeeeeek!

Kronos: Noooooooooooo!

Sloth: Oops

Sloth: Um, yeah, oops

A summit was called for certain Goa'ulds, only Yu, Baal, Bastet, Swarog, Kali and Morrigan were there.

Yu: We must enforce a treaty upon all Goa'uld

Baal: There is much to discuss in that regard

Bastet: But first

Baal: Choco alak caramel

Osiris: I hope I'm not missing all the fun

Yu: BURP!

Osiris: Grrrrrrrrrr!

Deep in harsh lands lies Mordor, a place where Sokar and his two sons Ares and Binar made home inside Mount Doom. Ares and Binar celebrated their victory over an army of ants that had once lived there.

Binar: You did it brother!

Ares: No little brother, we did it!

Binar: Oh no1 he's here!

Ares: Father!

Sokar: Victory belongs to you my son!

Ares: Victory also belongs to Binar

Sokar: If it weren't for his clumsiness, many of our daleks would still be functioning

Binar: I could not have known that the ants bite!

Sokar: Son, I want you to over see the construction of the chocolate factory in Mordor

Ares: It is a big task, I don't think I can do it

Binar: I can!

Sokar: You are useless! Pathetic! Foolish!



Sokar: Nooooooooooo!

Sokar: My Ares! Bohohoho!

Osiris was invited to Zipakna's hatak for dinner

Osiris: Am I here to discuss further plans for our wedding next week?

Zipakna: Politics have always been one of your greatest errands. Even if you go to court, you still won't win.

Osiris: What is this? What have you done?

Zipakna: I'm afraid I have to cancel our wedding

Osiris: you will pay for this impudence!



Isis: What's the matter, afraid of a little competition?

Osiris: You!

Zipakna: Noooooooooooo! My clean floor!

Osiris: Know this, Osiris will return and the floors of the hatak will run red with blood.

Apophis and Ammonet were at Klorel's parent- teacher conference.

Ammonet: Next is Klorel's betrayal teacher

Kordesh: He is excellent! Knows how to betray even me!

Ammonet: I knew he wasn't telling the truth about the cookies

Tanith: He um, tends to stumble a bit. He is um, good at stumbling. Gulp.

Apophis: I'll rip is tongue out before he insults my son!

In an extremely top secret location, Tilgath and Raymius meet to enforce a treaty of peace

Tilgath: I'm sure this will work

Raymius: What if a spy is here?

Tilgath: Nope, I made sure this was an ultra secret location.

Kull warrior 390: Glad we got here in time

Kull warrior 2: All we had to do is follow the signs

Baal, Bastet and Yu go to Ra's Palace for tea.

Baal: Very kind of you to invite us

Bastet: Fresh milk! Meow!

Ra: Sweety, is the cake ready?

Heru'eur: Can we play, who can drink the most symbiot blood in 1 minute?

Hathor: Sure honey!

Yu: ready, steady, go

Moments later...

Yu: Your time is up!

Bastet: Of that you are greatly mistaken

Yu: Oh! My apologies. Old age is really getting to me

Heru'eur: Noooooooo! Mummy! Daddy!

Baal: Come with me and you shall have your revenge

Heru'eur: I'll join you Lord Baal!

Thunder and lightning crashed through the courtyard of the Transylvanian castle. Nyerti was experimenting on Moloc - trying to turn him super-goa'uld.

Nyerti: Whahahahaha! I Dr Frankenstein, I mean Nyerti will be victorious!

Moloc: Har! Mommy?

Nyerti: Nope, not me

Moloc: Then die!

Apophis, Ammonet and Klorel are at Heru'eur's parent's funeral

Apophis: We've joined Baal, to get revenge against Anubis and his evil minions of stupidity.

Ammonet: Do call on the long range visual communications device if you need anything!

Thoth: So much for the stealth teacher

Sloth: I hate teachers!

Thoth: me too. No wonder we didn't pass 3rd grade.

Sloth: Ya, that entire math thing were getting hard.

Thoth: You sure bet ya. Especially the 2 times table.

Zipakna was foolish enough to infiltrate Osiris's home, but was caught.

Osiris: You are a long way from home aren't you?

Zipakna: Spare me!

Osiris: No!

Bastet was learning how to play the organs. Huge pipes were suspended in the wall above her. The noise was unbearable to Anubis.

Anubis: Thoth! Sloth! Stop this infernal music once and for all!

Thoth and Sloth went to Bastet's house wearing ear muffs. Using a sniper they cut off the suspensions holding the pipes. The fell and squashed Bastet into a pancake!

Thoth: That's what I call killing the cat!

Anubis and Mott capture Apophis. He is tied to a table thingy, Mott enters>

Mott: Sorry for the accommodations, we are not polite people

Apophis: You have committed an act of war against the snake family. Response will be swift and decisive.

Mott: Yeah right. Anubis has took personal responsibilities over your destruction he is on his way as we speak.

Anubis: Get outta the way, you're in my scene!

Mott: My apologies

Anubis: Shoo! Shoo!

Anubis: You are the one they call Apophis, I am Anubis

Apophis: I know dimwit! I'm here to kill you.

Anubis: Shut up! Why is every one set out to ruin my crucial scenes? Anyway, you will tell me all I need to know, you will no doubt resist, you will no doubt fail.

Apophis: you posses now way to make me tell you owt.

Anubis: Things can get bad. Whahahahaha! By the way, what is this lipstick thing?

Mott: It is well known among the system lords that a barrier protects your stargate.

Anubis: You will tell me the code!

Mott: So that means we can send a bomb through! My bright idea!

Anubis: Noooooooo! My idea! My idea! Mine! Mine! Mine!

Mott: Of course my lord.

Later Anubis got the code and killed Apophis.

Anubis: I so have to use my new Ancients beam thingy!

Apophis's family go boom! Soon after Sokar sends a transmission to Anubis, a face appears in front of his stargate.

Sokar: Anubis and his minions of stupidity, you have done nothing to provoke me, but I want to kill you anyway. That is all.

Anubis: Sloth and Thoth! Go, you know hat to do.

Sloth: I'll get the sun cream

Thoth: I'll pack the hobbit costumes!

Sokar got killed. Terroc and Moloc fight. Terroc runs out of breath and dies. Kronos decides to kill Sloth and Thoth, but they shot him twice in the back.

Thoth: After you

Sloth: No, you are too kind after you

Thoth: You first, I insist old chap

In that time, Kronos bled to death. Kull warriors creeped up behind them.

Kull warrior 2: Well, well.

Kull warrior 390: Who do we kill first?

Kull warrior 1: Any volunteers?

Sloth: After you

Thoth: No, no, no, after you

Sloth: You are to unkind, after you

Kull warrior 2: They are acting like those old English people.

Kull warrior1: This is annoying, kill them quickly.

Mott: Everyone is dead my lord

Anubis: Not yet

Anubis: Now I will destroy Abydos. Just for fun!

Osiris: Not if I kill you first!

Anubis: I hate you! You killed my father!

Osiris: No, I am your father!

Anubis: Nooooooooooo!

Osiris: With this device I can kill ascended and semi-ascended beings!

Osiris: That's for my TV. Oops sorry, never mind.

Osiris: oh no! That's for my DVD player.

Anubis: Finally, I can get back to my universal domination speech.

Anubis: What the?

Replicator: 64395G473A897EE758: Eeny, meeny, maany, mo. Aha, this one!

Replicator 2S34789FF375777: Good work, come brothers, sisters and things, let us feast!

The End

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