Friday Five: Weapons We Want

This summer we’re bringing you some brand new weekly features! Every Monday we’ll give you a close-up look at a DVD bonus featurette from the 15-season history of Stargate. Every Wednesday it’s the newest episode of the GateWorld Podcast. And on Fridays — starting today — it’s a countdown of some of our favorite episodes, tech, moments and characters from the shows!

Bloggers: We want to see your top picks for this week’s Friday Five! We’re enabling trackbacks for Friday Five posts, so post your own Top Five for this week’s theme and then enter the trackback URL (now listed below, at the top of the Comments section) in your blogging tool to get your post listed here (read more).

Come back each week for another Friday Five list, and let us know how your picks compare. You can also suggest a list you’d like to see in an upcoming installment!

This Week: Weapons We Want

First Seen: “Stargate” the Movie

Good for marching, good for swinging around, clubbing, or strangling a foe — and great for blowing big, melty holes in things. The Jaffa staff weapon is a weapon of pure intimidation. Point it at your foe and flip it open with a fear-inducing crackle of energy. The staff weapon is powered by a small core of liquid naquadah, and is a Jaffa’s best friend. Watch out, though: If you haven’t been trained to use it, it may prove unwieldy.

First Seen: “Absolute Power”

Who needs to point a gun at somebody when you have their entire city targeted from space? Based on a Goa’uld design, the AG-3 satellite network is intended for planetary defense against alien attack. But if your allies step out of line, it’s a simple matter of redirecting the powerful, precise weapons toward the surface and giving them what-for. In a dream-induced reality, Daniel used the AG-3 satellites to show Russia who is boss.

First Seen: “Runner”

We want Ronon Dex’s trusty sidearm, which he apparently picked up from the Travelers during his years on the run from the Wraith. Easy to pack in a holster and quick-draw at a moment’s notice, the gun fires red bursts of energy — loud and fast. It has two settings: stun and kill. But more important: It looks damn cool.

First Seen: “Stargate” the Movie

Here’s a little power in the palm of your hand … literally! Who wouldn’t want to wear this fashionable accessory which also fires pulses of energy powerful enough to hurl a foe backwards against the wall? And if looking good and tossing your subjects around isn’t enough, the hand device is also great for holding your victim in a tight grip of energy ribbons, which slowly cook his brain from the inside. Use it on a lower setting to extract information, or just give your disloyal subjects a slow and painful death.

First Seen: “Within the Serpent’s Grasp”

This compact, hand-held weapon is an easy favorite. The zat gun’s coiled serpent shape reveals that this was probably devised by Apophis himself. Keep it retracted and holstered when not in use, and just squeeze the handle to fire a ribbon of energy (no trigger required!). One shot stuns them, two shots kill them, three shots disintegrates them! How handy is that? Perfect for dispatching your enemies quickly and without a lot of to-do, permanently disposing of incriminating evidence, or just putting the kids to bed.

Imagine never taking out the garbage again. The zat’ni’katel is not just a powerful Goa’uld weapon … it’s the greatest household convenience and time-saving device ever invented.

NEXT WEEK ON THE FIVE: The best episodes for one of our favorite Tok’ra!