Friday Five: Funnyman Teal’c

Visit GateWorld every Friday this summer for a new installment of the Friday Five, a countdown of our favorite episodes, characters, technology and more from 15 years of Stargate history! Use trackbacks to post your own Friday Five for this week’s topic on your blog, or post a comment below to let us know how your picks compare.

This Week: Funnyman Teal’c

As an alien with little to no familiarity with Earth culture, in the early years of SG-1 Teal’c was a primo comedic straight-man. This made for some great one-liners. But as we got to know the big man, we also learned that he has his own sense of humor … unique as it is. Here are five of our favorite jokes told by Teal’c — either accidentally or on purpose!

Thanks to both J. Pilsner and Jamie for suggesting this week’s topic!

Told In: “Emancipation”

As SG-1 returns home from its very first official off-world mission, they discuss the fact that if any benefits for Earth result from their travels to other planets, the real source will have to be kept a secret. Jack quips, “Guess I’m going to have to cancel that Oprah interview.”

Brand new to Earth, Teal’c responds stoically: “What is an Oprah?”

Told In: “1969”

A solar flare has sent SG-1 back in time, to the year 1969. Dressed as a flower child and attempting to protecting his identity, Teal’c drives the hippie bus after the team hooks up with Michael and Jenny — two kids on their way to Woodstock. But Michael has been drafted, and tells Teal’c that after the concert they are thinking of crossing the border into Canada to avoid fighting.

“For what reason?” Teal’c asks.

“You know, man … the war.”

“The war with Canada.”

Way to blend in, big guy.

Told In: “Thor’s Chariot”

SG-1 pays a return visit to the planet Cimmeria, once under Asgard protection thanks to Thor’s hammer device. Now that it’s been destroyed, the Goa’uld Heru’ur has invaded. The team sees his pyramid ships on the surface, and covertly observes squadrons of Jaffa — and the System Lord himself. The Stargate is heavily guarded, making escape impossible — so Daniel suggests that they lie low until things calm down.

Teal’c, however, is well aware of what the Jaffa will do to the Cimmerians. “Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up.”

Told In: “Message In A Bottle”

An alien device has pierced Colonel O’Neill’s shoulder, pinning him to the solid concrete of the Gate Room wall. The sentient alien organisms inside the time capsule have also begun to spread to his body. All attempts to free Jack have failed … but Teal’c refuses to leave his friend’s side.

“Undomesticated equines could not remove me,” he tells O’Neill.

“… Wild horses, Teal’c.”

The other members of SG-1 remembered this line in particular as characteristic of their friend. Jack recalled it in “Birthright,” and Sam recognized it when Teal’c used it again in the Atlantis episode “Reunion.”

Told In: “Seth”

To illustrate how Jaffa make fun of the helmets worn by the Jaffa in the service of Seth (Setesh), Teal’c translates a bona fide “Jaffa joke” for Jack, Sam and Daniel. After he tells it, he bursts out laughing — an uncharacteristic but hilarious glimpse at Teal’c’s personality!

“Three Jaffa meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s … nose drips.”

Hilarious.

NEXT WEEK ON THE FIVE: The Best of ‘Todd.’ Blog about your five favorite episodes featuring Todd the Wraith next Friday, and trackback to our post!